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By Prof Peter Jide Jimoh
(Lecture Delivered at the Launching of a foundation for the care of the Elderly by Ibiobigha Lowe Sisters on 28th December 2022 at Kabba.)
Someone once asked the Anthropologist, Margaret Mead about the first sign of civilization in an ancient society. Her reply surprised her audience as she held up a femur, a leg bone. She noted that a healed femur was the first sign that a community was civilized. For man or animal, a broken femur meant that that individual would be unable to hunt with the pack nor fend for himself or herself. It would mean that the community would have decided to help the member with a broken femur to heal. They would have fed the the member; they would also have hunted on his behalf and generally take care of his needs until he would be up again and be able to fend for himself. A broken femur would have meant death eventually if the community ignored him.
How is this relevant to our gathering today? When a group decides to come together and pull resources together for the vulnerable in society, they are advancing the cause of civilization in that society. It means they recognize that amassing wealth for self-glorification is not civilization. It means they recognize the humanity in all of us whether firm or frail. It means they know that at any stage of our existence on this earth, we could have a broken femur and therefore would need support from the community.it means that they know that they do not need to wait till it is too late to provide help.
It is on this basis that I am glad to be part of this initiative, perhaps, the first of its kind in Owe Kingdom. From the invitation sent to me I learnt that the group, Ibiobigha Lowe Sisters, has been in existence for over a decade but decided to move further with this initiative calculated to impact lives of the aged and the less privileged. On the WhatsApp group of this wonderful initiative is the mission of the group: “We are desirous to raise funds for the building of a befitting old people’s home in our community to cater for the needs of indigent old women.” The men must be wondering who will champion their cause. My challenge to the community is that other groups should emulate this initiative and take care of vulnerable men. Let us not deceive ourselves: men are also vulnerable.
THE STATUS OF THE AGED IN OUR SOCIETY.
In this supersonic age, the aged in African communities are going through a lot of negative consequences. Indeed, in some communities, they are endangered species. They are often labelled as witches and wizards. They are some times stoned to death on false accusation without any shred of evidence. If a child dies in the neighbourhood, it is assumed that the aged man or woman must be responsible for the death. Many young men have been fed this narrative that they refuse to take care of their aged parents. Even when a misfortune befalls them for other reasons, they assume it is the village people that caused it. We are not saying here that there are no evil people among us but to tag a whole group in a negative sense is not acceptable. Majority of them are caring, loving and only wish the best for their off springs and the community. We need more enlightenment to stop the stigmatization of the elderly. Growing old is not a crime but a natural progression from birth to death. Old people’s lives matter, too.
Instead, let us show them love, kindness and massive support when we can. Let us not forget that one day,if the Lord tarries, we will also be tagged old men and women. How do we want to be treated?
WHAT DO THE ELDERLY NEED?
To me, the first duty you can perform for the elderly is to show them love. Make them know their loved in spite of their infirmities. This will be easy if you recognize , ab initio, that they are likely to do things you do not expect from them. Some will nag, some will be subject to incontinence, they will repeat stories you have heard a hundred times. Use love to conquer your inconvenience.
The second thing on my list is that you should listen to them. They want to be heard; they want to be listened to. I grew up with my grandmother so I know what I am saying. She would light up when you create time to be with her for a long time. I think it is a form of therapy for them to retell their old exploits and accomplishments. When you can, please listen.
The third one is to scan their environments for safety concerns. The bath tubs especially must be elderly-friendly. The same,too, with other items and gadgets around the home.
Support their physical and social activities. As we grow older, activities in the church and mosques help to maintain spiritual and physical balance. Also, visits to friends and families in the neighbourhood becomes more important. We sometimes make the mistake of keeping them for too long in the cities. Yes, we might be able to monitor and take care better but the cold and artificial social formations in the cities could be antithetical to their well-being. In the cities, they cant walk down the streets to visit Mama Dada down the road. No relevant gist (gossip)in the neighbourhood. So, a little stay in the city and a quick return to the neighbourhood they are familiar with is in order.
Of course, they will need abundant supply of food and medications as the body ages. Regular visit to health care providers must be arranged.
OLD PEOPLE’S HOME
How can old people find a home outside their homes? We must admit that the idea of an Old People’s Home is alien to traditional Africa. But the growing trend of urbanization, the topsy-turvy world we live in and the struggle for survival of families have made this idea inevitable. We must therefore move with the trend in the western world. I urge Ibiobigha Sisters to engage professionals to run the proposed home and give African humaneness, tender care and love in running the home. As you take care of the aged, God almighty will also take care of your own needs. The Holy Books urge us to respect and take care of the elderly. Indeed, I listened to a song in the Catholic Church in Kabba and I think it is relevant to our gathering here. I can recall some lines from the song:
K’obi aje ghun gha? Obi ki baba ati Iye gha (2x)
E mo ja tonju ghon
Emo ja toju obi gha
Abamo to ju obi gha
Imere do ju kuku ati enu olorun omo onto tanju gha.
Roughly translated the song says:
Who are our parents to us? They are our fathers and mothers (2x)
Let us take care of them
Let us take care of our parents
If we don’t take care of our parents
It will be difficult if not impossible for the coming generation to take care of us.
CONCLUSION.
The Ibiobigha Lowe Sisters are civilised; they are compassionate. They are cooperating with nature and humanity and hence they are blessed. It is the natural order of things. Let us cooperate with them to ensure the success of this lofty project.
I thank you all for listening.
REFERENCE:
Brand, P. and Yancey, P.1980. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made :A Surgeon looks at the Human and Spiritual Body. Michigan:ondervan Publishing House
